Elegy to my Teenage Years

Today is my birthday.  I am frightened by the fact that when people ask me how old I am, I now have to tell them 20.  So I decided to write down all the fun things I’ve been blessed enough to experience before hitting two decades.

  • jet ski on the Mediterranean
  • win a state championship
  • go to the Rolex
  • see Toby Keith in concert
  • live near two different military bases
  • be a rodeo queen
  • own a truck
  • climb Pikes Peak
  • pet a dolphin
  • stand on the top of the Eiffel Tower and experience Paris at night
  • visit Daytona beach during spring break (and get to defy every stereotype about it)
  • chase fireflies
  • read a hand written letter from Nicolas Sparks to my Grandmother
  • go to Harry Potter premiers
  • make a road trip on my own
  • own a german shepherd
  • have my fairytale include a white horse
  • see the Olympics
  • get poems published (even if its just a college journal)
  • take pictures and be able to print them myself in a black room
  • have awesome dates to junior and senior proms
  • go to the father daughter dance 10 years in a row with my daddy
  • model for 17 mag
  • live in the south
  • bake a 7 layer rainbow cake with my best friends
  • ride in a jeep wrangler
  • get a tattoo (or two)
  • run a 5K
  • be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding
  • visit Washington DC
  • have the best choir experience ever : )
  • have a kitten of my own
  • spend nights on horseback every summer
  • be signed with the NCAA
  • go on a mock fox hunt
  • play in the AFA gym
  • get the lead in a play
  • go to Fuzion and Desperation
  • ride on the beach
  • watch meteor showers

Now things to do before becoming a legal adult at 21

  • ride on a train
  • go to NYC
  • learn to play the violin
  • go skiing
  • see a Broadway show
  • sew a quilt
  • (secret experience with my best friends!)
  • go sailing
  • paint something actually worthy of hanging on the wall
  • go white water rafting
  • get placed : )


Is it possible to be homesick for a place you’ve never been to?  I guess thats kind of more like the whole “I was born to do this” thing applied to a place.  Although its not exactly about the place.  Its about people and a culture.  Is that just my own mind telling me something irrational about a place I’ve never been or is that God planting something in my heart to cultivate and allow room to grow?  What if its multiple places?  I mean, I do plan to live in more than one place during the rest of my life- I’ve already lived in multiple states.  I feel pretty birdbrained to let myself think like that, but I do have a longing for a certain life in these places.  And they tend to be pretty similar when I think about it.

I should really focus on the life I’m living right now.  I’ll miss what God is asking me to do and, in turn, opportunities for Him to grow and prepare me for what He has for me to do (maybe even in these places).

Is it even fair to compare what I’m describing to experiencing homesickness for heaven?  Is that sacraligous?  Or a valid comparision- like the marriage relationship to our faithfulness to Yahweh?

Oh anyway, I guess I should just be excited that I get to actually go home tomorrow- back to the Rockies for Christmas : )


I want to be the book that sleeps beside your bed, the one you reach for when you cannot find the backs of your eyes and paint with your own ink to highlight the sentences that highlighted something inside you. The bent pages and water damaged spine and the ring of brown where your coffee mug…